BodyGateways… Centre for Women in the Healing Arts

I never ceased to be amazed by the body’s willingness to reveal itSelf as a metaphor for the lives that we are choosing to live, whether we are consciously aware that we are choosing or not. My body is a conduit for the expression of me as GodForce; my body is the last frontier for my expression of Self; my body is a metaphor for the life that I am choosing to live. Is the life that I am living worthy of the Godforce that I AM?

For me, my life holds the potential to be fully hydrated in the GodForce that I AM. If, however, I fall asleep to whom  and what I AM, I’ll realize a finite and constipated existence… holding on, only to survive… instead of surrendering to the infinity of space, movement and flow, the natural feed for living a full and meaningful life.

Constipation shows up in the body, metaphoric to a life that knows struggle, resistance, bloating, discomfort, starts and stops, die-to-be-right AND no momentum…. metaphoric to a life that knows, as a mind set, hanging on, for dear life, to control what is out of our control. The paradox to this is that ‘control’ manifests as flow, in all areas of our lives, in the unprejudiced choice to surrender… to walk away from being a victim… to move toward being fully at cause for creating our lives and the structure of our current, personal realities. This means choosing to stop fault & blame of ourSelves and of others.

Constipation is a by-product of living a dehydrated life – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It shows up in the body, as the final frontier, indicative of a life that has known unquenched thirst as it’s truth. BSI, BodySpirit Integration, is the feed for satisfying that thirst, so that we come to know the flow in life that is one’s organic birth right and the by-product of being completely hydrated and sourced as GodForce.

The Ancient Mariner- one of my favourite poems – called ‘it’ in the words, ‘Water, water everywhere, yet ne’re a drop to drink.’ Flow is propelled in drinking in ourSelves, as GodForce, first & always.

When will we, as a species, drink the truth of our own sacred genius? That intelligence is the water of the soul that is everywhere – free to any woman who would fill her own cup. Yet, we continue to insist that we have ‘ne’re a drop to drink’… and in that, we continue to hold ourSelves as victims. It continues to be the mindless, self-perpetuating strategy that we run. In that, we continue to dehydrate and to constipate our lives. When did we choose to resist the water, the natural and magnetic flow of our lives, our birth right? When did we choose to close ourSelves down and to shut ourSelves up? When will we awaken to choose otherwise?

We already know ‘parched’, as a mindless and unnatural mindset made manifest, dare I say, ‘normal’, as the current truth of our lives (consider what is happening the world over, as we look at climate change, economic upheaval, political dishonesty, greed, famine, rape, murder and war). In contrast to that, we can know the undeniable joy of tissue saturated in GodForce, if only we would stop denying the truth of whom and what we are as Quntum Biological Human Beings. That truth is the drink, the communion of our lives in tissue. In that full surrender to the communion of Self, there is no start-stop, no struggle, no pain… and no need to die-to-be-right. There is, instead, the joyous momentum and the momentous joy that is worthy of the Godforce that each one of us is.

I heard Deepak Chopra speak in Kingston, Ontario, the other evening. I had won the tickets for me and a cherished friend. And I won more than the tickets! I manifested a superb experience of mySelf, in mySelf.

I had seen Deepak Chopra more than 20 years ago in Ottawa on a Sunday afternoon; it was a much smaller venue than Kingston. The night before this most recent presentation, a friend in California had asked me about my experience of mySelf in his presence, more than 20 years ago. I answered that my experience of mySelf was of the intensity of his gaze, like he was looking right into me…his eyes a portal to something unseen and unknowable. He was younger man, then; it was as if I could see into the depths of his soul… and I experienced what I called a sense of the humble in him, a profound humility in his presence.

So, here I was, the other evening and almost 25 years later, wondering if I would get to have such an experience of mySelf, again, of his eyes, as the portal to something.. the unknowable. So long ago, in a much smaller venue, I had created the opportunity for mySelf to stand right in front of his eyes, to say thanks to the essence of him, for what he was willing to share that was so meaningful to me. I was not to get that close, this time.

It didn’t matter. Even from a distance, I could see the light of him in his eyes… and, beyond that, I could see into the depths of his soul. The humility remains and it seems, to me, to have grown.

So is this really about Deepak Chopra? No. It is all about me. It is all about all of us.

Am I willing to look into my own eyes, beyond the quantum biological processor that is my body and that holds my eyes, to really see who I AM? When I do, am I willing to own my own sense of the humble, as the force of awe and great divinity that I AM? Am I willing to be fully present to the essence of the I AM that I AM, which invites my very tissue to re-create and to morph in the blink of an eye, in full support of my life?

Am I willing to become even more reverent of my spirit and of my body as the conduit for the expression of Me, the unknowable? AM I willing to see mySelf emerging, as whom I am becoming? Am I willing to have it all be a constant truth in my experience of mySelf, breath to breath to breath? Am I willing to be mesmerized by the genius of whom I AM and of whom we all are? And, as Deepak Chopra, expressed, so simply and so eloquently, when he arrived to the stage the other night – so authentically himSelf – that healing and holy mean one and the same thing, am I willing to know and to own mySelf as holy, as whole, as the ONE in my own life?

Am I willing to live with undeniable RIG {respect, integrity and generosity of spirit} for mySelf and for you?

Am I willing to know that I AM extraordinary? AM I willing to see and to know, in my very cells, that you are, too? Am I willing to know mySelf and to live as a GodForce and to hold you as one, too… fully honouring that you and I may never, ever agree? Am I willing to hold mySelf and you, not as reflections of some external god, but as uniquely and internally, God, ourSelves? Am I willing to really grok that?

Am I willing?

I AM.

When I remember whom and What I AM, I live a meaningfully sustainable life. For me, it is about being naked… in me, for me, by me. Knowing that, when things present in my life, I know that I have created it all. Knowing that, when I channel something… anything… and it fills every cell of my being, I am the One who is always, in all ways, directing and creating that experience. I am all of it.

I am choosing to be done with the Big Search. No more searching for mySelf… and when Self shows up, disengaging from it, so that I have, yet again, something to search for… as if the search is my reason for being. That continued and mindless strategy will only get me more of what I say that I don’t want.

How many times have I come home to mySelf, such that each and every cell in my body reverberates to the call of me as the bell home? And how many times, have I conveniently forgotten mySelf, in the search for whom and what I am…. as if the search, itSelf, was my purpose… as if that could/would keep me alive?

It is a choice. I have always been here; I just did not know it; I could not and would not claim and own that as the rite/right of my own passage to live. I was always looking for the next best thing… just in case I would miss out and be caught without the goods.

The paradox is that I already AM the goods. I am all of it. I choose to end the search and to simply live. I choose to know that I AM all of it. I choose to know that I create all of my life. I choose to mindfully own what I have known, yet put aside for so long, that whom I AM is Ancient Space… that whom I AM is Awakened and continually Awakens the Sacred in me… and ignites, provokes and evokes that reverberation in others.

I have known this about mySelf for so long, yet I have continued in the search for what  I knew was already there. Crazy making stuff! I called it evolution; it was my searching for mySelf… and, yet, I was already here, had revisited mySelf many times, then flipped mySelf and vacated, so that I could engage the search for Self, yet again. That strategy has almost cost me my life. When it got so exhausting, what did I manifest? Another search to find mySelf, so that I could exhaust mySelf again. I called THAT evolution.

I choose differently now. I AM here; I always have been. So I choose to stop the search.

Ok! So what’s that going to mean for my own evolution? Because, if evolution is no longer about the search, what is it for?

Good Question. Evolving is about remembering mySelf as already being both master and student in creating my life; I have been master and student all of my life; however, I had only honoured the student, not the master. Now, it is about fully allowing mySelf the richness of full expression and expansion in and of the light that I AM in every cell of my body, as the quantum device that vibrates to my choice to live at higher orders of thinking – connection to mySelf, vision and choice.

Search is futile. Evolution is bliss… owning the field that I AM in this present incarnation on planet earth. Nothing to do… just choose, choose, choose in my own breath of life.

Trust, declare and Discover! That is what the process of evolution is for me. My word is my law in my universe. There is nothing to search for anymore; in fact, there never was, if I had only allowed mySelf to fully notice and to own that. There is simply. in the Ancient Space that I AM, more and more to discover in my willingness to call it into presentation and to engage it. In that, I awaken the Sacred in me. In that I am the invitation for others to awaken to themSelves.

I have recently changed my business name from A.C.T & Inspire (an external reference) to BodyGateways (my internal reference). It was my clarity of awareness that my previous business name was no longer in alignment – if, indeed, it had ever been – with whom I know mySelf to be, that ignited my choice to change it.

I know whom and what I am. My undeniable knowing is the domain of the body. Like the body is the gateway to awakening and reclaiming the Self, I know that whom and what I AM is a gateway for others to awaken to themSelves, too.

Since knowing and owning whom and what I AM is the RSS feed for anything that I choose to create – including my ‘business’ – the name that I give to that endeavour must align with the truth of my experience. My business is personal and, while I know that I AM not it, paradoxically neither AM I separate from it.

Funny how simple it all becomes, when what I create actually mirrors whom and what I AM and I show up and engage in full claim of that truth. Vibration naturally attracts and Self-selects. Be mySelf and tell my truth… breathe. Nothing to do, except to show up and to engage where it is meaningful for me to do so.

No more beating the bushes for clients and results. Everything Self-selects relative to my intention of being open, clear, honest and direct… decloaked in every breath. It is me recognizing that clearly articulated and congruent definition is what attracts. It’s organic. No competition required. No competition wanted. That is a dance that I AM done stepping to.

No competition means that I mind my own business as the invitation for you to become even more clear about what is important to you in creating a meaningfully sustainable life. I naturally ‘do’ what I love and I AM abundantly reimbursed for sharing my gifts. Now, that is what being entrepreneurial is all about, in my book. It is never about being a ‘business’ owner; it is about creating, leading and being authentically contagious!

Anyone can buy themSelves a job; these days, that is what a lot of ‘business’ is, relative to competitive models. JOB = just over broke… and I am not talking about money, here, I am talking about states of being.

It takes courage to dance to your own moment-to-moment choreography in sync to the rhythms of your own internal drum beats… while inviting and encouraging others to dance, uniquely, to theirs. After more than 30 years of business ownership [I bought mySelf a job... four times {thank goodness that I finally woke up!}!], I know the odiferous bloom of competition is now dying on the vine; it has been in its death throes for a long, long time. It is now time to let it die, naturally, and to stop doing what we have always done in the throwing of fertilizer at the vine, in hopes that it will bounce back. It can’t and it won’t. You can’t stop the stench of the wilting stems of a collective already in decay.

If my life is my business, then I, for one, know that there is only one way to create, so that I live: breathe, be mySelf and tell the truth of my experience. Really, it IS that simple… and it IS that easy…. and it IS organic and green and alive. That IS BodyGateways! That IS me!

I have just arrived home from walking my 2 dogs… one a female Rottweiler at 7 months old… one a male Rottie/Newfoundland mix at 6 years old. No matter the age, instinct rules supreme. Each one always wanting to lead in their unique and separate ways. The younger one quick, curious and agile; the older one slow, steady, plodding and persistent.

In the canine world, I know that the lead is instinctive to both the one and the pack… separate, yet connected. In the human world, I’m not so sure; I could hope for that as a universal truth, yet, I believe that it is, generally, about external comparison and competition. I find it interesting that dogs naturally know and support their packs. Again, I am not so sure about humans. The force of cultural politicking always gets in the way and fear is the leash.

In my holographic universe, I grok that what triggers (even when I do not consciously know what that is) my strategies and behaviours is always, in all ways, about me. However, how often have I not decloaked to the pack that I purport mySelf to fully support (and, because I haven’t, it falls that I have made my life about molding mySelf to fit the story that I have made up about them)…  the pack whose intention it is to model authenticity in the claim of living a meaningful life, so that we continually become the invitation for others to claim that for themSelves, too.

What are the contexts in which I feel free, as in safe, to be mySelf and to speak my truth? Where do  I feel unsafe to own the full expression of my truth? Where do I wait to see from which side of the fountain the water is going to fall, before I throw my pennies into the basin that catches the water? Do I ever stop to consider that those waters get recycled? It is a fountain, after all! So, what exactly is it that I am recycling? Like the fountain spilling the waters, from which side of my mouth do I spill my words. Do I ever consider straight on?

So, tomorrow, I am meeting up with the pack. I know that, as in the past, we’ll greet each other and sniff each other out… a natural state of affairs for dogs. Yet, how often have we humans engaged the notion, Let’s sniff out the competition? That is poison to the pack. Sniffing in support, is elixir to its well being.

This time, I will honour my natural and finely honed instinct – the one that knows that the bark of safety always resounds in the feral resonance of my truth. In that, I can sniff in support. To the degree that I have growled for my own authenticity within the pack, I, in paradox, have not fully owned my roar with the intensity that my breath could sound itself to sharpen the teeth of my integrity.

My sense is that my mates, too,  have not yet fully unleashed their guttural roars…all in the guise of security, crating expression to contain the fullness of Self. In that, their can be no community, no real internal safety. There can be no pack, yet that is what we choose to call ourSelves. What parody! Where did we ever get the idea that safety came in leashing Self-expression? In this pack, as honest as I have been, I have still been dishonest. I know that I am not alone in this.

I was away last week with women of a certain age; we gathered together as tribal elders; we know things… we have lived! I opened my mouth and got honest, once and for all, about my confusion and my internal chaos, because I had felt threatened in the afore-mentioned pack. I figured that it was time to own the ugliness of it all… as well as its beauty of potential. In that, I have found my freedom. I feel safe. And, I am indifferent, now, to having to make my life work; it just does and it just will. I am done with competing, overtly and covertly, consciously and unconsciously. I have chosen to no longer compete. I am choosing to support. In that, I choose to let go… not as some well sounding catch phrase, but as my truth.

That has brought me to now. I do not know where I’ll be at the end of this weekend; however, I do know that I’ll be speaking my truth… spontaneously. I have owned, finally, that the biggest lie of all is the one that I tell to mySelf… and that includes omission. I am done. I invite all to listen for my roar… the bellow of compassion for mySelf and others.

I speak only for mySelf AND I believe that the pack leader is the only one who fiercely and unwaveringly holds to her truth, so that she and we might discover the more that we inherently are. I also know that she has never, ever held herSelf to be leader to anyone else other than herSelf. And, I know that, while I am referring to one woman, specifically, I could be speaking about anyone, who really loves her life. In her words, Be yourSelf, tell the truth, she is the beacon for all to own that in and for themSelves. I believe that her welcoming invitation to the pack is that instinctual roar of just Be. In that, competition can hold no tether.

How easily humans forget whom they are (they sniff to compete and stifle their roars)…  and canines always remember (they sniff to support and roar with volume and amplitude). I do not know where I’ll be standing at the end of this weekend. I care enough to not care. However, I am going to remember Me as I AM that I AM… again, not as some catch phrase that sounds great, yet is weak in its underpinnings. I am choosing to trust mySelf and to remember that the feral bark of the bitch carries the hope for the pack of mankind.